Thursday, September 3, 2015

Dear Crap Food,

Dear Crap Food,

         I know we have been 'off again' - 'on again' for a while, but I'm writing you to let you know -      WE ARE DONE! I know what you are thinking 'I have heard this a million times before', but no for real, we are totally DONE! 

I am tired of your lies, showing up looking all cute and leaving me feeling like crap.  I'm tired of you pretending to be something you're not with your 'low fat' and 'sugar free' and 'whole wheat' lies... you are still CRAP!  I'm tired of you abusing me and getting me sucked in just to work me all up and make me come back for more.  I have seen the light and have fell in love with your enemy... vegetables!!!!  Ya that's right I said it.. VEGETABLES! 

 You know those things that grow in the ground and have nothing to hide.  They put all their cards right on the table, no lies, no gimmicks, nothing.  I'm even slimming down now that I got with vegetables!  I realize now you were just trying to keep me chunky so I didn't want anyone else... I see past your games now!  And don't worry I will be telling all my friends about you.  I'm going to tell them how you look and taste so sweet but then leave them feeling like crap and carrying around a muffin top!  I'm going to go all Carrie Underwood on you and slash your tires and key your truck!  You done pissed off the wrong girl! So just know... I've had enough... and we are DONE! 

Sincerely your once true love - Dawn 

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